My maternal instincts are acting up.
I want a baby so badly.....................

Watched High School Musical 2. I am happy.

Only bout 5 pple are invited. So, if you are invited, you are one of the fives! YAY! Clap clap to you guys.
Love you all. byebye.

Going to watch the Channel 8 "Fu Man Ren Jian" , Wok of Life now.
Facebooking later. :D

Life is getting a tad better than I expected.
YAY.

Its been years since I stepped into school,
and surprisingly, it feelt FANTASTIC!
:) really, i love you people so much!
namely, Purani,Sylvia,Dyan,Annittha,Valerie,Priya,Deepak&Renuka.
Thanks for making my time in school SUPERBLY...
ENJOYABLE!

Special special special special BIGBIGBIG thanks to..
my BEST FRIEND FOREVER.. PURANI !
:) You might not know, but im so touched..
By the Health-Package-In-A-Sock.
hahaha.
Shes damn sweet can, theres Orange Juice, Choc Pudding, A Hersheys Milk Choc & Cookies Bar, and a sweeeeet note! Loveeeeeee you x 100 million times.
*muahhhhhs*

YAY! heard that we're going to a Lesbian Club next Thursday!
I cannnnnnnot waitttttt. I hope we really go there!
hahahaha, I AM SO SCARED!
I swear it will be the bomb there. :)

So sad that I gotta close down my blog,
:( hope I can re-open it again soooon!

Watched Resident Evil 2 & 3 today.
It was fabulously... orgasmic.
:)

Thanks Purani for your health package,
will be looking forward to those tomorrow.
Sorry to those who have not seen me for years,
I... will be back tomorrow.
Hahaha.

And to those that I've invited to read my blog,
it shows you guys are truly really my Best Friends.
Love you all. :)

This is only temporary,
I'll open up my blog when I feel better.

Off to dinner with parents now.
Byebyebyebyebyebyebye.

MIA time. Byebye.

On a much brighter side of life.

Things to do:

1. Sleepover at Melanie's house, with gheeting.
2. RollerBlading with ______(cannot say who)
3. Going to find the Road of Enlightenment with BFF.
4. Wedding dinner with Godmummy next Saturday.
5. Facial on Monday
6. Mummy coming home on Wednesday.
7. Movie with Purani they all.
8. Jurong swimming complex with Rachel, dajie and gang.

Sometimes when life gets too cruel for joei tan xin yi. joei tan xin yi will go to yahoo! and type "Life quotes" and tadah! her brand new perspective of life returns, and hoping she would feel much better. It works all the time, except this time.......... its not working. at all.

*wails out loud*

NOBODY LOVES ME. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. NOBODY TRIES TO. NOBODY WANTS TO. NOBODY NOBOBY NOBODY!

From now on, i shall develop a kind of hatred for humans. Sounds cranky but yea, i will do it.

I wonder how it feels to be anti-social, to not laugh or even smile forever, to have no friends to talk to, to have nobody trustable in life, to have no one by your side.

Would that kinda life be better?

All my life, as in ALL MY LIFE, I HAVE BEEN LIVING MY LIFE FOR FUCKING OTHERS. seriously. its tiring. Honestly, i don mind living it for others. I cant blame anyone except myself for being ultra sensitive to pple's feelings. So i try to do things which makes them feel better and not care bout myself. Now, unfortunately, its taking its toll on me. i wish this feeling would never surface but too bad it did. :( Yea, everyone just think the whole fucking world revolves around them. and me, have to constantly care bout how pple feel, how pple think, if the person is happy if i do this, den i do this lor. if the person is happy but im not happy den too bad lor. WHO CARES RIGHT?

I want to hold on to my belief that the world is a sweet happy place with nice pple.
My wish will NEVER come true.

Yes indeed, people are all selfish. They think only about themselves. ONLY themselves. Afterall as the saying goes, you live the life for youself, not others.

However, Albert Einstein says "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." , so all along i've led a worthwhile life? YEA RIGHT, no one even appreciates please.

Sigh, i am sooo tired. tired of being gay and retarded. :( I wish i can be a little stronger, just a little. and not keep crumbling like a tofu. I am a tofu, literally. I crumble at the slightest touch, at the slightest setback. I'm like the biggest loser.

I just need pple to understand, very badly.

Pretend. Just pretend. Do not take this for real.

So the scenario is:
You actually have a boyfriend, or maybe you do not have one. But you do have flings here and there. So lets say you know your friend kissed/hugged a guy, so one day, one of the flings/boyfriends/admirer calls up your best friend and asked, "Hey, do you know if (insert your name here) got do anything with (insert any guy's name here) anot?

So, being a Best Friend, what would you do?
(a) "Huh? Sorry i don't know anything.."
(b) "Nope I don't think so."
(c) "I tell you but PROMISE you don't tell her okay? Promise me please!!!"
(d) "Oh of course they did.... haha, what a bitch, ya lor ya lor, she so bitchy."

So which will you choose? You may leave your answer on the tagboard of course.

My answer will always be either (a) or (b), I am NEVER into betraying my OWN friends.
so whats your answer? :)

:( I hate the fact that life is being mean to poor joei. But on second thoughts, actually life ain't that bad afterall. But, the fact that i spent 500bucks with my CC is enough to get me killed by my mummy when the bill comes. Fuck. How on earth did i get to spend 500 bucks?! This will always always remain a mystery. Now i feel like the main character of the book "Confessions of a Shopaholic", cos she is like very very terrified of her CC bills each time it arrives. Love that book wayyyyyyy lots, okay shall get to reading it soon. OH FUCK. just realised i have not even touched my latest Harry Potter book. :( Joei the big loser.

Ok, it is confirmed. I am feeling real PMS-sy. cos im escaping right now, my godmummy house is my source of escape. LOVEEEEE it here, don't have to do housework! YAY! and i can even get the time to do my manicure + pedicure! which costs me a bomb, which will lead to me being slaughtered. I can't help it, been waiting WAYYYY to long to do one, i mean both.

Alright, time to eat my Wanton Mee. Sounds pretty nice to me.

I have a dinner tonight at some hotel. I think its a wedding dinner.

Just a question, what will happen if i disappear ha? I wish i could can........................

If there's no hopes,
there won't be disappointments.

my kacang darling.

This post is dedicated to darling Kacang.
Sorry x 100000 times, i know sorry doesnt work but sorry again!
i know its my fault for not checking your waterbottle. and causing you to be dehydrated for days!! sorry! we thought you were being cute attracting attention and all, but yet never realised that you were actually very very thirsty and trying to tell us u are thirsty. darling, believe me, i am very sorry and i really hope you will still be cute and retarded. i love you dearly. please thank your grandfather(which is my daddy) who was the one who realised your waterbottle is not working and gave you water. darling kacang im sorry ! i promise to buy you more treats okay. ya i bought them already, pumpkin seeds and apples! your favourite! darling i love you and i cannot live without you. please do not ever die okay. and please be cute and furry and gay. muacks.

SOOOOOO many things to do, that i can even forgo blogging. Ok, this shows im busy. Or, did i not blog on purpose? hmmmm. I seriously think i have a huge issue with myself. i hate this issue, but i can't help it. I pray and wish this is just a PMS-period-feeling, that will go away after lingering around me for so long. :( i just HATE to feel this way. it makes me feel disgusted, like "Cheebye, why am i like that one ha?" Sigh, and i really can't help it.

Look, i've been going on and on up there and nobody knows what am i talking about still, hahaha, too bad, am not telling. Just hope it goes away sooon.

Watched Joshua ytd with Sylvia&Purani, i dunno wads going on in the show, cos i was eating some donuts, which is like quite nice, and i just like the fact that the dumb kid is so clever. he is a fucking genius, in a very morbid sorta way. which is, dumb. when joei is not making sense, it means.... she do not really enjoy the show.

Joei, I've something to say to you.
Always be YOURSELF, who you really think you are, and what you really think you are. DO NOT EVER care what others might think, because you control you own life, not them. You are always hindered because of the opinion of others. Aren't you tired? Tired of them constantly putting you down? Tired of their criticism? Tired of their opinions? If you are not, I feel tired for you. You always have to care what people say, what people think.. to the extent that you are not YOU anymore. You are just a Rojak, mixed by everyone's else opinion except yours. Remember, true friends do not put you down, and would never ever do that. Understood? Hope you do!
From, the fattest person on earth..


Anyway, to the person i promised to blog about entertaining entries, sorry! :) haha, im in a PMS mood. so , no entertaining entries till its over. and remember ah, steady pom peepee hor. harlowwszxx. miie lurbbe tuu diisgust euuuuuuuu.

*editeddddddddddd. i hate you.

*fuck, both this pictures, im nominated for the BFA (Biggest Face Award), just look. sigh. and the winner goes to.... *drumroll* JOEI TAN! fuck.

We are friends for a reason. a Fun reason.
Love you girls. Just hope forever exists with you guys.

My phone has got cranky since ages ago.
The light refuses to show up, but it would somehow if you hit it hardly.
And since the past few weeks, no matter how hard i hit it, the light refuses to show up, and therefore i cant see anything on my screeen!

Note: if anyone wanna get to me, kindly ring me, though i can't see whos calling/smsing me, I know my phone is ringing.

So many incidents happening when my phone statrts to occasionally act up. First problem was gheeting who thought I was majorly angry with her cos i don't wanna reply her, sorry but the phone's refusaL to lemme see the msges are beyond my control. Sorry for making you so worried please. I didn't want it to happen either. love you.

The feeling of knowing you got sms, but cannot read, sucks. I'm sure you guys feel for it yourself. Imagine receiving msges and KNOWING theres an unread msg in the phone. wah, gross.

Second, Eric and the "you never reply me one :( "
Same reason, I cannot seeeeeee anything! anything at all.
Sorry if msges go unreplied. SORRY.heh heh.

Thirdly, my reply to Melanie, shes being sweet i know. but the screen went black in the morning and only revived itself when i hit it hard hard on my wall at night. And thus, causes her to thinkher concern is redundant to me and all. Its crucially important and your msg cheered me up, thanks for being there. Now, im feeling guilty im not there for her. Okay, please call me if anything EVER happens. But, you know i'll be there when things happen la. YOU KNOW. everybody knows. k love you.

Friends are important to me, yupp. Just hope there ain't so much problems sometimes.

*I want a new phone. HEEHEE.

Sorry i cannot tahan temptations to blog.

Let me start off with a simple question. Ok, maybe not too simple, but yea requires alot of thinking. I love answering such questions.

"What would you do if you found out ever your best friend betrayed you? Or told someone else some stuffs that he/she should not be telling?"

In my opinion, obviously initially I'll get super super angry rite. like, WTF. i hate pple to betray my trust please. Somemore is best friend you noe. Best Friends are supposed to stand by each other, no matter what happens! And not go around telling pple things you are not supposed to say!! Usually when a party gets betrayed, of course will feel hurt and all right. And maybe to the extent of breaking up all friendship ties and all. (or some might even get even. like since you said things you shouldn't be saying about me, den i go say things i should not say about you lor) Makes sense right? However, it MUST be considered that the person who betrayed you IS a Best Friend. I emphasize, Best Friends. And Best Friends DO NOT betray each other. Ya so back to the point, because the Best Friend who betrayed you is a Best Friend, I guess I will probably just forget the whole issue, yea.. and about breaking up Friendship ties over a betrayal.. I've yet to give it much consideration, I swear its not worth it. So, guys! Give your Best Friend a big fat hug today, cherish them! Friends don't come by easily, I mean, Goooood Friends REALLY don't come by easily.

So, my conclusion would be, if the person is my Best Friend, I will not do anything drastic but keep the pain in my heart lor. No point pursuing some stuffs anyway. For one thing, I really truly love my BFF. (BFF knows who she is) However, if it is some random person, SAY YOUR PRAYERS! hahahaha.

But sometimes, its best not to trust anyone lah. Because, ya lor. Personal Experiences. HAHAHA. My greatest mistake in this world, IS TO TRUST PPLE TOO EASILY! and, to believe that True Friends , Or Best Friend Forever ever existed. Time to wake up pple, to the harsh cold brutal reality. I'm no kidding, heed my advice about not trusting anyone, you will thank me soon.

My middle name is officially naive. N-A-I-V-E.
SPELL IT OUT.

I am sad! :(

I don't really know what to blog about when I'm sad.
Say byebye to my blog.

The void in my heart is increasing and increasing at an escalating rate. So many things are leaving my side! Esp. the doggy!

I am so sad that I am not gonna eat for days again! YES, thats how sad I am! Never mind!! Nobody understandssssssssssssssssss. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

Why can't pple understnad? I wanna invent an understand-joei's-feelings machine, so at least pple try to understand. :( I will give it to people for free, no charges for understanding me. Well, at least I've some true friends to stand by me. I can't stand superficial come-and-go friends, or the kind that "hey, i know u for bout a year plus and its time i leave" friends, or the kind that "wah cheebye, you this bitch got boyfriend already, i don't wanna be your BEST friend liao" kinda friend. Please die. If you feeling guilty after reading this entry, time to think it over carefully. Its losers like you that makes me feel so affected to even do anything else.

Anyway sometimes, I rather have no friends. Really.
None, at all. Ever had such a feeling before?

Once bitten, twice shy.
Don't worry, no more Best Friends shit for me in future.

Okay, will not update this space anymore.
This marks the end of updates.
People, don't bother coming back here.

the sweet girl, i love herrrrr.


my darling. shes so sweet rite..
she LOVES lying beside me, yes i love u too dearie.


:( she looks sad that she gotta leave.
i can feel her sadness. REALLY.
maybe cos she can sense my sadness too.


byebye baby girl, "mummy" loves you forever.
I promise to remember you and never ever forget you till the day i die. you are the sweet lil puppy that lived in my house for sooo long. i love you, i love you, i love you.


Ok don be jealous sweetheart. I LOVE YOU TOO!
(this pic cute right? see her tongue. so soft and cute)
*orgasmsssss x 102022)

Joei Tan is sick. :(
Swollen eyes again, sigh.
Super serious sorethroat which hurts like a fucker.

Crying like a gayfuck bcos the doggy is leaving soon.
:( I'm really crying can. for 2 days straight.
Mummy and Daddy saw me crying and they are sad too.
The doggy is really cute... and very sweet..
:( So sad and no one is consoling me AT ALL.

Sobsobsobsob. I'm all alone.
No doggy. :(
I will always always love and remember you darling doggy.
I love you.
I hate life now.

I've nothing else to say.
NothingNothingNothing.


Vanity, not love, has been my folly. -Pride and Prejudice

Was watching some channel 8 taiwan variety show, about this guy wanting to propose to his girlfriend of 5 years. Then blah blah blah, give her surprises, ask her go some location to find some flowers and stuffs. and tadah! suddenly he appears with a huge balloon and ask "_(her name here)_, will you marry me? I know there is alot of girls who like me, but the person i'll always love is you."

She then answers, "I am not working yet, you're still working, so how to get married.. BUT under one condition will i agree, which is, earn $1300 by today to buy me a diamond ring."

I was like, WTF. like that also can ah. i also wanna get married now and lists out all the condition. so fun.

But, the poor guy, the poor guy.. he worked so so so hard, enduring the harsh weather conditions. and guess what?! HAHAHA, the girl cried and the guy scolded her, and he went into this huge temper! WOOHOO! CLIMAX! the guy said he couldn't take it anymore and that why must that lil slut be so ridiculous and give sucha huge amount..

But in the end they still got married la..

My father and I died laughing.

Such shows are such an entertainment. :)

Ok, my left eye is swollen to the max.
I think i'm allergic to Mee Rebus, or it might be the egg, or the potato.
Shit.
I need to take a nap very badly.
Naps actually lasts about 15-20 min.
Apparently, my naps last about 2-4 hours, sometimes even reeaching to 5, or even me refusing to wake up. HAHA. so logically speaking, i need to sleep, not need to nap.
When i talk nonsense, it means i dunno wad to blog anymore.

Byebye.

note to self: buy myself a really cute alarm clock that doesn't ringgggg in a scarily loud manner, so i don get a shock when i wake up each morning. MUST be cute. preferably like Stewie, Spongebob, or coated with diamonds or something. i dowan some ugly normal ones. I want it to be princess-y. It must NOT be pink, blue, green, grey. Alarm must be soothing and DEFINITELY will wake me up kind, not the RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG in a pussy way kind. DEFINITELY must MUST must have SNOOZE system, so i can sleep 5 min more, 5 more min kinda thing.(in case u guys don't know, 5 min is ALOT to me, its essential after each sleep.)

Haha, I wonder why must I be so annoying.

Rachel darling, cheer up sweetie!

darling Dajie, i miss you so!

Lets meet up soon, the 3 of us.
Love you girls. Hugs & Kisses.

I am in love with the this black puppy in my house.
She is so fucking cute and I love her.

Of cos, I love Kacang and Stripey MORE..

Gosh, I am in love with a dog and hamsters. Fuck.
Am I still human? *wonders*

The sweet sweet doggy at my house. Love you.
:) Thanks for being so guai, but please shi-shi and poo on the newspaper provided okay?


Camwhoring outside bubbletea shop.
Love the sun, makes me look white!


I like the skin colour and the hair.


The attempt at trying to make kissing look real.


Mr Lee's Mazda, and we did this.


Deepak drew this for Mr Lee!
GUESS WHICH IS ME!?
Theres Renuka, MrLee, Priya, Valerie, Annittha, Deepak, Sylvia, Me, Purani.
So cuteeee. love this pic please.


I wonder why is my teeth so big..
Haha, can anyone spot SYLVIA & PURANI as well?


Multi racial friends! theres Chinese, Indian and Malay(hahah Valz i win)

I love my melayu/others friend.


For once i love the sun for making me fair.

Enjoy!

Life's great. Kacang looks cute, and plump. Stripey is happy cos my Mummy is back from Hongkong to play with it. I am looking after a Retriever+Collie mix for a week,shes so cute and she doesn't bark at all. I am feeling rich suddenly. I ate donuts. I watched ALOT of movies already. My menses is over. My pimples are all gone. I have splendid friends.

YAY! :) Soon, I will be stressed over my exams, PROMOs. CHEEBYE.

okay, watched the RAT-TA-TOO-EE show, NICE! 100 stars/5 stars. love it, its so Kacang. the rat really looks like Kacang. so its my favourite show from now. and the show made Purani's ear not pain. heehee. and had "eat-table" at Eunos again,went there last year. totally talked to TianCheng until i wanna die, hes only 14! i think i can communicate well with kids.

and i watched 1408 with glenn! okay, i totally didn't meet him for 10 years. (ok 1 year to be exact). 1408 is NOT nice. NOT. there is no ghosts. full of lies and deceit! very fun day though. glenn chan totally paid for everything and im feeling so bad about it now. and uncle spencer came to fetch us after that! :) WEEEEE.

Okay, time to play with my doggy.and to get my ass to Macdonalds to play with the sms system thingy.SO FUN! hhahahahaha.

quote purani,
Love is not for people who CANNOT handle it.
i like this quote, somehow it makes sense,
just somehow.