Sometimes when life gets too cruel for joei tan xin yi. joei tan xin yi will go to yahoo! and type "Life quotes" and tadah! her brand new perspective of life returns, and hoping she would feel much better. It works all the time, except this time.......... its not working. at all.

*wails out loud*

NOBODY LOVES ME. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. NOBODY TRIES TO. NOBODY WANTS TO. NOBODY NOBOBY NOBODY!

From now on, i shall develop a kind of hatred for humans. Sounds cranky but yea, i will do it.

I wonder how it feels to be anti-social, to not laugh or even smile forever, to have no friends to talk to, to have nobody trustable in life, to have no one by your side.

Would that kinda life be better?

All my life, as in ALL MY LIFE, I HAVE BEEN LIVING MY LIFE FOR FUCKING OTHERS. seriously. its tiring. Honestly, i don mind living it for others. I cant blame anyone except myself for being ultra sensitive to pple's feelings. So i try to do things which makes them feel better and not care bout myself. Now, unfortunately, its taking its toll on me. i wish this feeling would never surface but too bad it did. :( Yea, everyone just think the whole fucking world revolves around them. and me, have to constantly care bout how pple feel, how pple think, if the person is happy if i do this, den i do this lor. if the person is happy but im not happy den too bad lor. WHO CARES RIGHT?

I want to hold on to my belief that the world is a sweet happy place with nice pple.
My wish will NEVER come true.

Yes indeed, people are all selfish. They think only about themselves. ONLY themselves. Afterall as the saying goes, you live the life for youself, not others.

However, Albert Einstein says "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." , so all along i've led a worthwhile life? YEA RIGHT, no one even appreciates please.

Sigh, i am sooo tired. tired of being gay and retarded. :( I wish i can be a little stronger, just a little. and not keep crumbling like a tofu. I am a tofu, literally. I crumble at the slightest touch, at the slightest setback. I'm like the biggest loser.

I just need pple to understand, very badly.