its 2.41 am now, its too late yet too early, im feeling as confused as the time now..

2am when it all started. well, im at a loss of what to do . it came too sudden, too surprising, and im taken aback by the impact it has on me, im overwhelmed by emotions i can't even explain. i guess its because its beeen a long long time since i've felt this way. this pain in my heart is almost familiar, i can't describe how it feels though, it bleeds.. its like a knife coated with salt slicing me up slowly. yes, i can feel myself dying and drowning in pain, slowly. its torturing, i cannot take sucha pain in my heart, i doubt anyone can..

we're all humans anyway, we all suffer pain, hurt, heartache, whatever..

omg, i wish i can just fucking fucking fucking die. DIE. die.

i hope he is happy with the other party now, i mean, its not like i'll give u both my blessings, i hope both of u would disappear and die instantly in a car crash, but still, before u both die, i sincerely hope u both are happy. hahahahahhaahhahaa. im so idiotic.

is it my fault?
if it is, why should it be mine?
is it cos i do not loveu enough? show u enough concern? spend time with u?
but if its u who is in love with another girl,
why is it my fault?

im drowning in tears.. and i wish so much for a tight big hug from anybody please.

this is so surreal, am i in a dream actually?
Reality hurts, don't they?

please please please do not say u love me still, please.
cos i probably would not care.
im gonna erase u from my memory.
everything will be gone.
im very sure i can do it.

You have just destroyed my world within 15 mins. Thanks.

**i wish u could gimme my present for Aloysious boiboi and the 2 meimei , BUT, i do not wish to see u neither do i wish to hear ur voice neither do i wanna have ANYTHING to do with u**


this pain is too much to bear..
i am devatasted. seriously.