The sweet sweet doggy at my house. Love you.
:) Thanks for being so guai, but please shi-shi and poo on the newspaper provided okay?


Camwhoring outside bubbletea shop.
Love the sun, makes me look white!


I like the skin colour and the hair.


The attempt at trying to make kissing look real.


Mr Lee's Mazda, and we did this.


Deepak drew this for Mr Lee!
GUESS WHICH IS ME!?
Theres Renuka, MrLee, Priya, Valerie, Annittha, Deepak, Sylvia, Me, Purani.
So cuteeee. love this pic please.


I wonder why is my teeth so big..
Haha, can anyone spot SYLVIA & PURANI as well?


Multi racial friends! theres Chinese, Indian and Malay(hahah Valz i win)

I love my melayu/others friend.


For once i love the sun for making me fair.

Enjoy!

Life's great. Kacang looks cute, and plump. Stripey is happy cos my Mummy is back from Hongkong to play with it. I am looking after a Retriever+Collie mix for a week,shes so cute and she doesn't bark at all. I am feeling rich suddenly. I ate donuts. I watched ALOT of movies already. My menses is over. My pimples are all gone. I have splendid friends.

YAY! :) Soon, I will be stressed over my exams, PROMOs. CHEEBYE.

okay, watched the RAT-TA-TOO-EE show, NICE! 100 stars/5 stars. love it, its so Kacang. the rat really looks like Kacang. so its my favourite show from now. and the show made Purani's ear not pain. heehee. and had "eat-table" at Eunos again,went there last year. totally talked to TianCheng until i wanna die, hes only 14! i think i can communicate well with kids.

and i watched 1408 with glenn! okay, i totally didn't meet him for 10 years. (ok 1 year to be exact). 1408 is NOT nice. NOT. there is no ghosts. full of lies and deceit! very fun day though. glenn chan totally paid for everything and im feeling so bad about it now. and uncle spencer came to fetch us after that! :) WEEEEE.

Okay, time to play with my doggy.and to get my ass to Macdonalds to play with the sms system thingy.SO FUN! hhahahahaha.

quote purani,
Love is not for people who CANNOT handle it.
i like this quote, somehow it makes sense,
just somehow.

Thanks Mr LJH(our history teacher) for treating us to Swensens. Me, Sylvia, Purani, Annittha, Valerie, Shirin, Deepak, Priya all went for it. :) the food and the ice-cream after that was REALLY nice. and of cos, costly. Mr Lee paid for everything please, so lovely can, secretly in love with him liao.

hahaha. i'm still very full from the food!

and. i know this is gonna sound so weird, but thanks Deepak for getting me the 1001 cool freaky facts book. hahha, the weirdest present i ever got for my birthday. and I (and im sure the rest of you guys too) really love the book alot. its funny and retarded. gonna post some facts up here real soon. Thanks Deepak! i told him he made the rest of my life happy with the Meiji Milk and this present he gave me. He says im a simpleton who is satisfied very easily. What a slut.

I am happy for things happening in school everyday. :) Life is being a samaritan to me. YAY! I love it when life is not being a bitch.

Oh ya, i got my menses yesterday. :( it was so unexpected.to the max.

However, its funny how me & gheeting bonded and became BestFriendsForFuckinEver because of GUYS, and how me & sylvia bonded because of GUYS too. But funny how both best friends can fall out, because of a guy? The absurdest thing in my life ever. But maybe, just maybe, because my best friend's a guy. and so we fall out because of another guy. Ok, only I know what im talking about. Whateverrrrrrrrrr. But, since its not exactly your fault, and since its MY fault, i shall not be annoying and i shall just treat you as my best friend (still). It totally fine with me if the feeling's not mutual or if you don't wanna reciprocate the feeling. :) I'm about to say "I don't give a pussyfied fuck about you", but i shall just refrain from saying this sentence. Pretend you guys didn't see it. And, hmm. If you think severing ties with me just for this guy, think, just think. Is it worth it?

Yup, okay, since I'm in a good mood. and 2nd day of menses, I shall not talk about any bad stuffs.

....

Love you Kacang & Stripey! (forever&ever)

my shoulders are aching like fuck. i am hungry. i am all alone. i still have to do so many household chores. and.. i have this enormouse cravings for fucking donuts and fucking salmon sashimi.

but, thanks to you. thanks so much once again.
:) for getting for me medicated plasters, for getting me Zinger Meal, for (going to) help me queue for donuts.
thanks Eric the fatty.

i'm feeling so much better already! it was a perfect monday. :) received notes from sylvia. gave them notes as well. that way, monday blues are soon gone. Dead Silence after school, hahaha. so paiseh. we sat at the Director's seat, and got chased away during the course of the show. fucking suay. laughed alot today. its a good sign. and im surprised it was sucha happy Monday. i adore Happy Mondays. i wish all my Mondays would be like that. YAY to Perfect Mondays. I am Anti-Monday-Blues. heehee.

**i hope LJH keep his word and treats us to dinner tomorrow.

hello everyone. meet my boyfriend(the one in white). Chen Hao Nam. you may call him Nan-ge. HAHAA. omg! hes like the branch leader of Causeway Bay! HAHAHAHA. next time i go HongKong, i WILL be a happy girl! :) YAY! (spot his tattoo? so fucking hot)


hahahaa. dug out a picture of us clubbing at Powerhouse. taken by my BFF.
pictures taken by BFF's phone is always nice. dunno why.


yay my bitching partners in school.
LOVE ALL OF THEM, including the photographer.


We love MiloDinosaur + PrataHouse x 100000
Standard things to order, 2 milodino, 2 kosong, 2 cheese with egg.
HAHA. and a different side order each time we go.


We love pubbing.
when there is no clubbing.

hhaahahahaha, i keep listening to "Gan Xin Ti Dai Ni" and now i totally know how to sing it! YAY!! so happy. i know i am sick and gay and twisted, but i can't help but love the show/song so much right. yaya, i know im into gangster movies. i think that can be seen from the fact that i went googoo-gaga over the gangster show 15 made locally by Roystan Tan as well. this weird fetish over gansters is troubling me, WHY!? why do i have such an obsession with these shows. hmmm, i think i need to go on a pilgrimage to do some soul searching.

Ok, serious topic. been so long since i blogged bout serious issues.
No offence to anyone.

You know its the Seventh Month now rite? so the Chinese gotta burn incense paper and offerings to the wandering ghosts out there and all. so we burn all these only on the first day of the Seventh month, and middle part and one last time at the end of it. so, altogether, ONLY 3 BLOODY TIMES RITE? ONLY 3 FUCKING BLOODY CHEEBYE TIMES OUT OF A FUCKING MONTH RITE?!?!!?!

so must some people make a big hoohaa over it anot? will die ah? breathe in all the smoke will die ha??? (ok i personally love the smell of the smoke, purani and sylvia knows that). its not like smoky till you all die in the smoke rite. PLEASE BE REASONABLE CAN. i mean, we don't do that EVERYDAY OF YOUR LIFE. only a few days only. Singapore leh, we all racial harmony wan leh. Can just shut the fuck up and let the Chinese burn anot? Respect the ghosts can anot? They long long time can come out one time, must you all deny their rights to smell the smoky smell anot? (well, i dunno about ghost loving the smell.....but haha, oh well)

I heard someone saying what, "Can you like ask them to go to the temple to burn or something? Its so irritating they are burning everywhere." AYE I TELL YOU. FUCK YOU OK. you think everyone very free ha? we burn at the void deck, we also burn inside the bin rite. we got anyhow burn OUTSIDE your house anot? don have den shut the fuck up.

yes, i agree, those pple who never burn inside the bin are indeed inconsiderate and all, cos they will "dirty" the pavements and obstruct the way. this i agree. but its their "culture" that the ghosts will only get the "money" that way. but pple now are more considerate already. we're all burning in the bins. even I, burn in the bin. ALL THE TIME.

So, i tell you. just bcos you are a different religion, and you don't follow this particular Chinese culture, i advise you not to let me hear you say ANYTHING about this issue. Because before my grandfather died, he will go down to burn EVERY YEAR, and me, my grandma and brother will accompany him. This year, I DID IT ALL ALONE WITH MY BROTHER ONLY. it was funny, (yea, and we did everything in the bin, as in the burning and all).

So kindly respect other pple's beliefs or culture okay? If the smoke really irritates your eye, or obstruct your breathing, I'm here to apologise for all the other people burning okay. Sorry okay.

Racial / Religious Harmony.
Everybody steady with that anot?

song

my favourite song.

Ok, when you have the world's bestest friend in the world,
you love them for who they are, and not what they are.

So, i love you ALL my best friends.

I think my form of escaping is by watching Young&Dangerous, my GuHuaZhai! and to which my daddy claims I'm a loser cos this shows are like 1o years ago and i'm only watching it now. I remember watching it when i was a little girl, so now im just trying to refresh my memory. TSK TSK.

Triple Fun Day on Saturday, despite the gay trip to school! :) love you.
AND I'M ADDICTED TO THE MACDONALD SMS THINGY.
HAHAHAHAHAA. fucking fucking funny.
thanks to the sweetie who dedicated the sms to me.
"good luck to all taking their A lvls, esp joei! so we can hang out soon. love you! -bff"
SWEEEETNESS.
I LOVE YOU THANKS.

i can't give u an answer.
i am sorry i can't.

bon gave me this webby.
about zombies. gotta put it here cos if not the tagboard need to scroll left and right.

.Love hurts when you know you've hurt the person that means the world to you.
.It's hard to make your head stop loving somebody when your heart still does.
this above quotes are so true can. :(

.How come whenever I think I'm over you, you come talk to me and make me feel like the most loved person in the world?
.I could have gotten over you, but then you had to tell me that you loved me.
hahahaha. true to the max. hello Dyan, do u "feel" for this quotes? hahaha, we're losers.

finefine, so korkor tells me this just now,
"mei.. listen, you lay awake crying over him, you go to sleep dreaming of him...but do you ever think there's someone crying over you? don't lie to me that no one is crying for you lar, you know there is people who wants you, why don't you give them the chance?"

(again, i must reiterate that NOone loves me.nuff said)

Anyway, i wanna say, the lesson i've learnt so far is that..
If you really, truly love someone, you can't stay mad at them forever. As much as you want to hate them for what they've done, your heart won't let you.

does it hurt you to know that we haven't spoken to each other in days?

i totally am crazy. i watched the WHOLE of Young & Dangerous/Gu Hua Zhai series today. AS IN, the part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and i am watching more now. I'm even watching the version when they were young(the Nicholas Tse one). hahahaha. i am crazy. Nan-ge is sooooo hot. HOT. he is sex. my sex. *oooh-ahh*

(ok back to watching it now)

HOT STUFF, yes?
hes the gang leader/member of some HungHing gang. right??
gang member+tattoo= HOTNESSSSSS.


this scene looks .. very familiar.


i wanna watch the part 3 please!


YAY, gang members.


:)


this scene is VERY familiar. VERY. VERY.


his body alone is enough to allow me to have 15 orgasms in 1 second.

emo-ing now. found my world's most favourite MTV from Young & Dangerous 3 on youtube. im a happy and sad girl! this MTV, is the world's saddest one on earth. i tell you, do not watch it when you're emo-ing badly k. will die on the spot. Ekin Cheng is damn hot by the way. and anyone got Young & Dangerous 3? cos if no one has it, im gonna buy one. and keep watching and keep crying.

GAN XIN TI DAI NI - MTV(YOUNG&DANGEROUS)

its in Cantonese, but if u wanna see how sad it is, den just watch the MTV, don listen to what it says lor. YAY, gonna memorise and sing in Kbox next time.

lemme put the lyrics here, and i dunno how to continue! bat goon tin bin fung yi hei, jek seung yi hon jeuk nei ye laan yan jing wooi fau ying hoh hei kei ging dak hei yau seung yue bei, jek yan sum zhong yau jeuk nei lo yiu cheung ye gei yik chung bat se hei cheung gaai dik san ying chuen qwoh fung yue yau ngo hei chang yat hei chut jau bat pa chong jun kiu juet dei yue mo yue yin chuen jeung yau hei fong fut tin woh dei joi tiu suen ngoh gan nei yur jeung ngoh ......(to be continued)

oh anyway, i caught 881 the other day. NICE please. i cried like a fuck. like as though its the saddest show on earth. its really sad, like the person you love dying. having to sell away your favourite pet just to raise money for someone's hospital bills. (i cried most here, cos i was thinking how am i EVER able to sell Kacang away) SIGH.

*zhiwei, u better thank me for the treat. ungrateful bastard.
*gheeting, u better thank me for the treat. another ungrateful one.

GREAT! no one loves me ANYMORE. both my parents are totally overseas. ITS OK. all alone at home. i don care!!!!!

antique pictures. for our play. scary huh?
sylvia thinks it looks very olden-ny and spooky.
like the kind where another extra person appears, or anpther hand, or anything else.


i swear i look like those kinda Blood Countess in the Count Dracula era. those days pple wear such attires.


SEE? i look like one rite. this top belongs to my mummy please.
the attire was the most obiang thing i see in my life.


:) Joan & Lis. (hahahha)
our on-stage name. shes my sister.

The play was a success! had lotsa fun during this period. all the laughing at the death scene. the trying-not-to-laugh-but-failed-miserably scene. the memorising. the FOOD.(wah cheebye,the fucking food is making me fantasize like the world's most horniest girl). the off the lights at lecture room to tell ghost stories/play catching. i love this period. its the funnest days of my life.

(just as when im at the downest of my life)

anyone wanna cheer me up! please get me food from Princess Elizabeth Pri.Sch, its sex and i totally am addicted to their food. its all fried. its CHEAP. i love it there. :)

SIGH, am still affected and sad and everything.
sorry girls for being all emo on you all in school.
sorry sylvia & purani. sorry to the power of 10.

thanks Deepak for the bottle of milk, thanks! that cheered me up.

Remember, Joei is without a heart now.
So now, I'm a living dead!
YAY! my wish for turning into a zombie is finally here!
:) Joei the undead. Joei the Zombie.
Joei doesn't sound like a Zombie name.
Can anyone help me think of a zombie name pleasE?
like a cool zombie name.
the zombie name must sound like i've no heart k.
and must sound like a zombie also.
like Zombie the Zombie kinda thing.

i miss you.
still.
fuck.

once again, ONCE AGAIN.
you will never have any idea how i'm feeling now.
(ok well, maybe you did in the past)
(feels like shit, but oh well)
as much as i FEEL like blaming you.
i know i'm in NO position to.



my heart hurts and i bloddy cannot breathe.
im in the worst state anyone can ever imagine.
no one will ever ever know how i feel.


life is so full of empty promises and broken dreams...
EMO-ing now sorry.


just as i was so happy during the first day of Aug cos its the seventh month and got alot of "eat-tables".. just as i was just ABOUT to move on from the past and forgive ourselves for our mistakes. THIS JUST HAVE TO HAPPEN. HAVE TO.


like wad dyan said, "don hold on to hopes, cos hopes will make you more disappointed than ever if the hopes are dashed." MAKES ALOT OF SENSE.

my heart has officially cease to exist anymore.
totally broke & disintegrated into thin thin air.
byebye, heart!

I hate Joei the gullible,
do you all hate Joei the gullible?
or Joei the Loser. Or Joei the Dumb.

i wanna kill pple now!

i am sick and tired of seeing your friendster comments.
i am sick and tired of 'discovering' your little secrets.
i am sick and tired of seeing you flirt with other girls.

(shit, now i totally feel for dyan, totally to the max.)

its fucking fucking fucking gross can.
yes yes, i noe we are not together.
BUT STILL, BUT STILL.
BUT STILL x 1000million times.

FUCK. x 1000000000000000000
CB. x 3
KNN x 4
NNB x 4

okay joei relax.
all guys are the same.
joei tan relax.

cmon, go play with kacang & stripey now.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A set of screwdrivers,A cordless drill, andA black lace bra..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A feeling of control over Her destiny...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
One friend who Always makes her Laugh...And one Who lets her cry...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love Without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to quit a Job/ Break up with a lover and confront a friend withoutruining the friendship

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... And WHEN TO WALK AWAY .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and Wouldn'tDo for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone... even ifShe doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust,Whom she can't,And why she shouldn'tTake it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go...Be it to her best friend's kitchen table..Or a charming inn in the woods...When her soul needs soothing... !

LONG x 10 time since i ever blogged.
aaahhhh, it feels so good now.. ah, ah... ah...
yes, that was an orgasm, thanks.

i am happy! because, YAY!!
i finally went to "eat-table!"(direct translation from Hokkien)
BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I WENT TO ONE OK!
went with Eric, i cried cos he made me scared.
he didn't tell me this "eat-table" is not the outdoor kind but is inside a restaurant kind! FUCK. i was so wearing slippers. :( ugly loserish slippers. i was TERRIFIED. i was so afraid they would refuse my entry and POOF! goes all my yummy food!
so happy i can finally seee all the familiar faces again.
food was quite good, love the first dish, the one with SO MANY fried food! AAAA.
and Shark's Fin next! (i seem to forget im AGAINST killing sharks for their fins when the bloody food is in front of me.!) joei tan is a hypocrite! joei tan is a traitor to the animal world! hmm, and omg! theres YAM PASTE with coconut sauce with gingko nut for desert! YAY! not Potong ice-cream for the first time. and i love the KONG-BAH-PAO. i ate only the FATS. yumyum.
and some uncle fetched us home after that, it was 11plus already can! so late. was so afraid my dad would kill me, heng he never.

these 3 days of school have been fun, funner den i expected, and to think i didnt wanna go to school one. hahahaa. poor purani, cheer up! :) you are not gay k. haha. i buy you many dark chocolate k. and one of the main reason why school's so fun is cos, there is alot of things to talk about, which in our context, is called bitching. about the grossest couple ever(you all know who), about EVERYTHING la. :) and sylvia has a score to settle with me. and i have a score to settle with her too. she DOESN'T know how to write my Chinese name! and i called her a liar today. (hahaha) it was the funnest chinese lesson ever.

after school, was stuck doing English Compre test. with Nabila and Hilwa. we were going , SIAN man all the way. haha. the grossest thing to do when school ends early!

had the longest nap ever when i went home , and here i am, finally blogging.

and yes! i would love to watch the show 881 ! first time i love Singapore show okay, okay not first, its second, my first is the gangster show 15. heeheeheeeeeeee. am glad gheeting,meland xmark they all liked it too.

have a chalet on Friday! and Saturday gonna watch fireworks! HAHAHAHA.
siao liao. need to go clubbing real soon !

FUCK. went to play the stupid addicting game that melanie says its SO for us. CHEEBYE. i only got till Qns 12. FUCK, how on earth she got to 45 man. wanna play?
Click HERE NOW.

note: that game makes pple kee siao one. so UNLESS, only UNLESS you guys are bored until you all can die kinda bored, den play it. PLAY IT. joei highly recommends the game. anyway just remember i gave up at Qns 12. NEENAABEH!

yay daddy just bought stamps for me. if i talk nonsense. it means i dunno wad to blog about anymore. hahahaha. byebye.

hmm.

heehee, shhh, Kacang darling is sleeping. sooo cute.


oooh big balls. my Stripey.


sweet sweet darling. loves her to the max.


hello all, im sleeping. im so cute even when im sleeping.


yay ! i love joei's table. my maze.

hmm.
spent my days ALL very EVENTFULLY.
indeed.
alot of money spent.yes,we are now officially broke.
somemore is not SHOPPING-broke.
is go-and-enjoy-life kinda broke.
K-box, eat&eat, watch movie, go pub and drink.
therefore, we end up lidat.
BECAUSE WE DIDNT CLUB THIS WEEKEND!
(first time!ever.)
we decided to make ourselves feel better& went to a pub to drink.
so gay. BUT FUN!
:) LOVE NIGHTS OUT.LOVE.

i need more PSP games leh. cheebye ok.
my brother says im gay cos all i know how to play is Sims2 & Tekken5.
:( i can't help it, its really fun.

OH YA! i wanna watch 881 ! OMG!
for pple who say,"eee,singapore show,gross"
AYE, LIMPEH TELL YOU NOW OK.
FUCK YOUUUUUUU.FUCK FUCKING YOU.
this Singapore show is by my MOST favourite director
IN THE WORLD alrite.
my ROYSTON TAN!
(not that hes really hot or wad)
but he directed the gangster show 15 wad!
i loveLOVELOVELOVe him for that.
so since this is a Roystan Tan film,
I SHALL SUPPORT HIM!

watched RushHour3 already, fucking funny,FUNNY. should watch if you wanna relieve some stress.

watched Secret already, JayChou is hot, yes. the amounts of ooh & aahs emitting from the person beside me ah, is 3zillion. the plot is very nice. the song is very nice. its a comedy/romance/fantasy/thriller/horror. (REALLY!)

watched Hostel 2, at home of cos. FUCKING NICE. the plot rocks please. i have the dvd, so if you guys want it, just tell me, i'll lend it to you. melanie&gheeting watched it already too.

need to catch 881. Skinwalkers. and more...

**love my mummy&daddy for my 18year old birthday pressie! SERIOUSLY, my life is complete. COMPLETE. complete. COMPLETE. i do not need anything more in my life. YES! I LOVE THEM! so guess what they got me! GUESS. yay!

(i've so many things not done. sigh. okay the sick thing is i went to Popular today to buy blades. seriously. for fuck, i also dunno. gheeting says in case i wanna die.. anyway its very cheap. $0.45 for 5 blades. hahahahha. i bought it cos its cheap. and, in times of emergency, i can use it too.)

ok i shall go iron clothes now. byebye.

joei has died. her nose died.
DIED. DIED. DIED.
i wish i hadn't a nose.
:
feeling terrible now. to the max.

AAA FUCK.
haha, funniest thing is i was watching Troy just now, and got reminded of gheeting about, "come girl,lets talk about Troy" hahaha, and coolest thing was gheeting msged me in msn telling me HER NOSE DIED too! and den she asked me,"is twins supposed to be like that?" HAHAHA. i died, but she went offline before i could reply. some telepathic fields huh.

and to melanie, THOSE ARE THE PICS! THERE ARE NO MORE OTHER PICS! hahaha, you & your "im sure there are much more other pics".

Joei says: "clubbing pictures time!"


:( omg look at how tanned i bloody am! i used to be not so tanned. :( anyway, my pretty girls! me, sabrina, janejie, melaniedarling. they are all so pretty. PRETTY. SLIM.
not fair! so happy to see them by the way, bump into them inside powerhouse.


my another group of PRETTY girls! me, gheeghee, weiling, melanie!
love themmmmm. SO FUN rite? so fun sneaking in to clubs rite.
we love St.James powerhouse rite?!


me & pretty girl DXO-ing.
love those longlong hair of hers.


yay, meeting gheeting. guess where are we going?
ZOUK! YAY!
quote zhiwei,"either your camera or the mirror got problem, cos you look quite slim,which is very unusual." FUCK you ok. but honestly, i think theres something wrong too.


hello sexy sexy sylvia!
in DXO toilet!


another day at DXO. :)
with sylvia, priya and purani!


Dragonfly day. LOVE IT THERE.


gheeghee says i must blog bout this picture.
hmm.


birthday boy, happy birthday!


fucking expensive. $680++.
at Dragonfly. so now Gilbert's an exclusive member.
i wanna be an exclusive member too!

yesterday was fun! at PowerHouse(free entry). though we intended to go Zouk initially. the queue was, 3ookm long, really. even when Dyan let us cut the queue, it was totally redundant! so headed to St.James instead. :) so funFUNfun. great music, BUT very packed. my poor foot was stepped on by this HUGE girl. she was dancing like a madfatslut. and totally kept banging against us. gross. saw many many pple yesterday ! so fun. chenghong's birthday cake was damn delicious, and that poor boy totally KNOCKED OUT. kept puking like a fucker, and den slept on the couch. and i declined every alcoholic drink offered to me yesterday, i drank coke and warm water,(how loserish and gay). danced the pussy outta me,and ya, i love all you pple. gheeting,you poor thing.

OMG, my neighbour saw me please.

ure andrewtau. i wan my mods! says:
hey u at zouk yest ?
joei ❤s kacang&stripey always TOTHEMAX. yay! boo! yay! boo! fuck! says:
yupp
ure andrewtau. i wan my mods! says:
not bad ar start clubbin already
joei ❤s kacang&stripey always TOTHEMAX. yay! boo! yay! boo! fuck! says:
how u noe ha?
ure andrewtau. i wan my mods! says:
saw u

so funny. dongdong was at zouk queuing too, so i let him cut the queue, (sorry&thanks dyan!) but he went to MOS at last.

:) yay love partying!
can't wait for the next round.

first,lemme rest for 2 weeks first.

SHIT! purani just called and said we need to be in school tomoro, and.. i need to go pray my ahgong tomoro! HOW?! shitshitshit. everyone in my family took leave to go , and i will not be going? GOSH. how?

back from hospital, poor granny hospitalised. sigh, at SGH (again) been the 10millionth time i been to SGH within 2 months. OMG.i broke the highest record, perfect. anyway, i dislike hospitals. not the dislike, dislike. like is not i dislike visiting my granny, auntie or wad. its... i cannot bear to see the patients there, some are old and frail, and sick and bedridden, it hurts me alot. ALOT. my heart will have this strange gnawing sensation, i wish that i can eradicate the world's sufferings. seeing all these patients suffer is torture to me. IT IS. thats why.

BUT, i love hospital food. not the hospital KOPITIAM. but the food which is provided, the mealtime kinda food. :) love those. and guess why i like to visit pple. cos when they are hospitalised, they kinda become sick of such food! AND THEN I CAN GET TO EAT THEM!!!!! YAY!!!! heeheehee. im so despicable.

tomoro my godmummy gotta go SGH again for followup on her Operation. then we will go see granny together. i gotta bring my godmummy go cos she doesn't really knoe english, imagine her lost and all. (heart winces)

joei the loser with a soft-heart.

i wish and pray for my granny and godma.
love you both. hugs.

purani and sylvia and priya,valerie,annita,reyy will all kill me i swear. not in school for 2 days! no bitching sessions! no laughing at losers! no "omg,look at that,THAT,that,NOW,now,NOW!". sorry my darlings, SORRY! family matters, please understand please.

gheeting & melanie, chill please and i love you. and relax. RELAX. sigh.

zhiwei, u also relax la. stop being a loser.

my dajie is so clever can, got full marks for my best friend test. my best fren indeed. love you please! yay meeting up real soon to do some clubbing! and waiting for our dear dear rachel. (we haven go find her YET!) i miss both of my best best best best friends please! Joei, Cheryl, Rachel! love the 3 of us.

thanks Eric for earpiece, ur bag, and i wan airbrush tattoo leh.

(i dislike the hospital! i don't wanna see any patients! i wish i can save them from their miseries! sobsob!!! )

what is happening to the world?
WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

firstly, i heard a very SCARY news in school today, as in WAY scary. like scary until i can vomit blood and die on the spot. i died a death. TO THE FUCKING MAX. ARGH. i wanna die, i SCREAMED LIKE A MAD SLUT. LIKE A TOTAL MAD SLUT!! the news is so horrifying, i wish, (just a wish), that my life would just end. when i HEARD THE NEWS, my life ENDED in fact. ENDED. i don't wanna live anymore. sobsobsob. :( i don't wanna go shopping anymore.. i don't wanna wear any clothes anymore. SO SAD! I AM DEPRESSED! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! yes, in case anyone can't see, im very very affected.

secondly, my friends ah, sigh, FUCK.
also dunno wads going on.
FUCK x 10 to the power of 10.

okay shall bath now and sleep for awhile.

;Dragonfly-ed yesterday. with gheeting,gilbert, 2 Eric Ng(s), sophie, and alot of random pple. thought it was some Uncle-Auntie place, but i was so wrong! ya there WERE uncle-aunties but it was still fun nevertheless. i LOVE the liveband, (first time) GUESS WHY.

because before i stepped into Dragonfly. some person(i forgot who, but i reckon it must be gheeting) said "Jo, you surely like this place, got chinese songs wan."

and true enough, really got chinese songs! the earlier part was EmoEmo chinese+english songs(damn nice), den slowly slowly R&B, the atmosphere is totally SEX. YAY! and we totally danced to the max can. :) with alot of women(yes women, they are all 20+, 30+), me and gheeting was the youngest. and we even heard a group walking past us and said "they look like kids hor." WTF. :( what losers.

made new friends too! but all very old.. so fun dancing with them, okay, and the drinks yesterday, was 10 hundred million. REALLY. its so much, and costs about 700 bucks, and maybe more! and now, Gilbert is an exclusive member of Dragonfly. i drank only Greentea and iced water, (so gay!) but this is to prevent me from being nonsensical.

okay, i love Dragonfly! :)

okay,new clubbing khaki is Eric Ng. Gilbert,Gheeting,Joei,Eric. i swear its the weirdest combination, cos 4 of us are all THE EX. :)

ok 1.43pm now. feel so bad for reaching home so late yesterday. and shit, tonight might be going MOS again. with BFF and the rest.

anyway DXO was quite, quite bored yesterday, but got VERY MUCH funner as time passes, went up on stage to dance! (haha) took me a LONGGGGGG time for me to go up, sylvia and priya went up first, i was.... scared. cos i am very *inserts wad joei always says about herself here* . drank alot of ribena and kept on shishi-ing. my BFF didn't go, yup.

my sunburn, is killing me to the max. the redness is REDDER than RED! gosh. the price to pay for being so "gian peng gian sai", for being so greedy and stupid to "make use" of the free 15 min. screams.

Thanks Charlene jiejie for everything, i miss you alot alot you know! :(

hahaha, ok im not gonna close down this blog.
yay so you pple got extra entertainment.

SHIT! i think im getting a sunburn NOW.
(whattt?! from an indoor artificial tan?)
really, the person warned me though,
but i JUST had to insist to have 5 more min.
:( its getting painful. very.
and i hope i do not GET so tan.
and i hope the tan will go away like real soon.
i don like being tanned,
the ONLY reason why i go is cos its FREE!
thanks sweetsweet CherYan for the voucher,
WE LOVE YOU LOTS!

haha, yay! purani decided to go!
:) i swear we'll be having alot of fun!
girls night out is like a page out of Playboy,
it will be SEX k!
DXO somemore(my favourite!), i don care wad others think.
i think DXO is the cosiest place ever.
Purani likes it there too, surprisingly.

heehee, shopping today.
:)

watched Vacancy and Captivity.
hahahaha. Captivity was...... HAHA.
me,syl and purani sat on the VIP seats.
comfortable shit can.
and we had so many food with us!!! NICE!
and they claimed i was scared,
NO IM NOT.

i miss my T100, my red cammie.
i want it BACK SOON!
SOON!

and im thirsty to the max.
lemme drink some water,bye!

(heard that alot of pple wanna see me and sylvia in school tomoro to see our newly tanned skin, hahahaha, if i purposely don go how ah?)

blog officially closed down.
:( very sad about it.
but, yupp, no choice.

not gonna tell anyone about my new blog.
maybe, just only maybe,
i will update this space,
so u guys may wanna take a sneak peek here every now and then.
sorry for this sudden decision.

i just feel so unwanted and all.
not everyone cares.
especially you and you.
i thought you would but too bad.
i was at my MOST crucial point, suicidal and all.
but, hah, i was wrong bout u !
so wrong. so wrong!

i feel so sorry for myself.
for everything.
for inflicting self-harm just to make myself feel better.
pathetic.
maybe i should get a new life.

yes, in my new blog maybe.
byebye readers.

contemplating closing down this blog.
should i?

some pple are just not worth it,
don't you think?
its a sad thing to realise someone is not worth being your friend after so long. just open your eyes bigbig next time joei. not everyone will be there for you when u need them. remember this COLD hard fact. just remember. because the one getting hurt and all will just be FUCKING ME. its alright.

ok would like to laugh at pple who took my quiz,
and dunno how many pri schools i attended, hahahaha.

and dunno my boobs size.
(they all think its huge)
whahahhaahahhahahaha.

and surprisingly,
they know wads Eric's full name, joke can.

More pple do the quiz leh,
so fun to see the answers u put,
especially to the boobs size one.

:(
on the verge of crying really.
feeling so exasperated!
i think my granny threw away my things again!
:( first my hipopo, now my Ah Jan.
i put it away the previous time cos i don wanna see anything that reminds me of him, that was so in December please, its August now, and i want to see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(ok i cried for a little while just now)

im getting too emotional for my own good.
sigh. sigh. sigh.

joei tan xin yi.
learn to let go of some things.
LEARN.
stop being some whiny slut who clings on to what you think is the last of your memories. STOP IT! you are getting on Joei's nerves! i will slap the shit outta you if you're not joei.

I am sad.

I can find Ah Jan No.2, but i can't find Ah Jan!!!
:(

I NEED to know where it is.
I NEED!

i can't possibly lose it,
or did i throw it away?
i couldn't possibly throw away something i loved rite...

back to finding darling Ah Jan again.
gonna cry if i can't find it.
search all my cupboard already...

You know how some pple have very sad past, and very hideous past identity, yes, joei is one of them. just look at the pics i take last time. i can just cringe and die on the spot. okay pple, be less critical please. i noe i look horrendously gay and stupid, but what to do? its been done, and sigh, looking back, i wish i could die. hahaha.



Yes i had short hair, i had braces.



Please be less critical, please.
Everyone has at least 1 sad past. right?

I think high school musical is a very good show.
i shall watch the part 2.

addicted to night life.
which i strongly feel is not good.

i love kacang alot.
stripey aka big balls(to gheeting&more pple) is very cute.

i feel sometimes we shouldn't judge things so easily.
or be so critical about somethings.
like how i first thought Transformers & High school Musical is pure bullshit,but look what happened, i think its the best shows ever(for me), ya so i've decided i should not "eeee" at things which im not really sure of in future, YES! we should all strive to not be so critical of things. UNLESS we really KNOW/EXPERIENCE it before, ya, den.. u've all the rights in the world to be critical about it.

and cheebye, was watching the news, and theres a rise in elderly theft, fuck la please, those old pple so poor thing, den those gay robbers still aim them, ARGH! WHERE IS JUSTICE?! wanna aim , aim rich pple la, must aim those helpless old pple anot~!!!!!!! MUST ANOT!!!!! I HOPE YOU LOSERS DIE YOUNG AND HAVE HERPES ! I HOPE YOU FUCKERS BURN AND DROWN IN HELL 15 TIMES a SECOND! I WISH YOU ASSHOLES HAVE CRABS COMING OUT FROM YOUR ASS AND KIAP THE SHIT OUTTA YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*screams!*
sorry, me PMS-ing very badly. VERY.

Create your own Friend Test here

had alot of difficulty taking this pic.
haha, realised we are all wearing the same SPECS.
hahahahahahhahaahhahaha.


The clubbers(okay disgusting i noe)
How about, The clubbing khakis? hahahha.
yesyes i know, im wearing THE UNIVERSAL ATTIRE again.
wasn't in the mood to dress up so just wear something simple.
(i didnt noe i was going to Zouk ok!)

**aiyo, my entry on the LOVE thingy is for the general masses,
its not about anyone at all. hahaha. PLEASE read carefully darlings. i don't mean to offend anyone or upset anyone. its for myself, not directed at anyone at all. i swear upon my Kacang's life! KACANG OK! if i use KACANG as a tool, its very very serious..... i love Kacang! please to all individuals, don be affected by it! please x 10000million times.

(and i would love to thank everyone who wishes kacang a longg life. thanks purani who keep praying for her long life, hahaha. thanks for all who asked me to cheer up! i am cheering up already!)

and sorry gheeting i cannot go Zouk on WEDNESDAY! i've school on THURSDAY! don put dirty thoughts in my head bout skipping school, i will not do it!!!! can only do it on Friday & Saturdays.

right. so im back from another night of clubbing.
woke up at 12noon AGAIN.
(shit, i can't wake up late, remember?)
reached home bout 5plus in the morning.

so, we went to dbl O (the initial plan)
and guess what?
everyone else was above 21 EXCEPT the 2 jokes.
whichhappens to be me & gheeting.
funny cos when we reach dbl O,
me&gheeting's first reaction was,
"aye, why the pple here look so old ha? so different from the crowd at DXO."
"maybe here more high class lor"
"what if its above 21 den can go in?"
"aiya, cannot be la"

AND GUESS WHAT? when the person wanted to check our IC, we took it out SO PROUDLY(cos we're legal), and then... horror came when the person said "only 21 and above"

ok we died. died. died.
we were so embarrassed, and we just died.
:( we are rejects of the club. so sad.
and to think we are 18, we still so proud and all.
this is gonna scar me for the rest of my life.

the guys all tried to talk to some floor manager, or something,
STILL CANNOT GO IN !
its okay , its okay.
3 more years only.

so headed to the ever-so-famous Zouk.
i forgot the name of some of the guys.
theres Gilbert(of cos), Alfred?(yellow Alfred), Kelvin(loser kelvin), Eddie, and i dunno still got who, alot of random pple which i probably will never noe.
Gheeting refuses to dance!
Zouk was playing this weird sorta music the WHOLEEE night.
heard its called Trance.
and such music only reminds me of pple eating ecstacy and shaking their heads.
hahaha.

i needed R&B, so headed to Phuture. so fun!
(but i feel its not as fun as dxo, pple at dxo more fun)

my head hurts the whole time can.
the guys kept asking us to drink.
but theres this sweet drink called Apple Shooter, its quite nice.
and Ribena Vodka soooo nice.
Some LongIsland Tea, i dunno wads that.
theres Redbull Vodka, and some menthol drink that u can light up.,
Gheeting drank that, so brave!
really i think i drank too much.
cos they kept saying if we don drink, or if the drinks don finish(there was ALOT of drinks, ALOT) we cannot hit the dance floor. :( and so had to kept drinking. it was gross. gross and gross. i felt like puking after that.

yay! dancing time!

okay, clubbing next Friday and Saturday again.
Friday-DXO
Saturday-MOS(maybe got VIP room!)
i wanna go dxo with my girls please.

i wonder why does pple say dxo is so gay and all,
i think dxo is FUN.
so cosy.

*thanks gheeting for the dinner/supper treat. the fried mars bar was sex. the chicken was nice. the fish was nice. but too much very scary. but thanks, its damn nice can.

joei loves kacang&stripey always.

I don't feel like clubbing anymore.
I don't know why.
I shall just make it an exception and drink like shit today.
yes.

Kacang, i wish and pray you're fine.
Do you know many pple are praying for you too?

Nothing matters more than Kacang.
Nothing.
I will give up EVERYTHING for her.
Sashimis, Fried Chicken Skins, Japanese Food, any of my favourite food just for her to be okay.. Please darling, be fine!!

yummy yummy donuts!
Thanks Auntie Cecilia for getting it for us.
Anyone who loves me, can consider getting it for me again.
I don't mind, really.

Just wondering.
I think i must be crazy to think this way.
but, is it really better to have someone there?
by someone there, i mean like your other half.
your boyfriend/girlfriend.

is it really better?

I don't know, most of the pple around me is attached.
and, I can't help but feel envious of them.
( i sound so deprived here, like i've never gotten into any relationship before lidat..hahahha, don worry im not desperate for any, its just a passing thought)

Really, i am envious. i am envious they are able to feel loved, taken care of, that their other half will "Joei, please help me take care of her.", "Joei, i want u to make sure shes home safely.". "Joei, keep a lookout on her, don let her be alone." or stuffs like dat. so loved and fortunate.

:( how come i don have one..

BUT, on second thoughts,
if my other half REALLY says such "__(fren's name)__, please take care of Joei." , i probably will quarrel with him till i die. cos i don really like to trouble my frens. imagine how dreary it is to receive such msg, (im not referring to MYSELF feeling dreary receiving such msg, im fine with it, but i don like my friends receiving it, its.. very.. i dunno how to say also..)

Irony right?
I am so contradicting myself. First im ENVIOUS of pple receiving such treatment, and secondly I DO NOT LIKE receiving such treatments.

Am i mad or mad?

Its been a long time since I've really really been single. Like single, single. Meaning, im not in love with anyone AT ALL. like no silent love, no loving your ex-boyfriend still kinda thing. This is one of the few times in my life i've really REALLY been single. Without any flings, affairs, etc. Its a very clearly stated, Joei-is-single thing. I tell myself I'm happy, I can do without guys, YA OBVIOUSLY, WHICH GIRLS CANNOT DO WITHOUT GUYS?!??!! (ok some girls can't, i noe im definitely not those loserish girls)

BUT, am I really happy? I don't know. Maybe I'll feel happier loving someone. Right? Like when Purani asked, "Would you rather have loved and be hurt, or to never love at all?" My immediate response was "TO LOVE AND BE HURT.", she then ask me to think very carefully again. Then i thought again carefully. The reason why i said TO LOVE AND BE HURT so readily and easily was because, I've never felt the kinda "hurt" from a heartbreak for a long long time.

(ok the last time my heart died was, Dec 2oo6. )

thats a long long time ago. I had a phobia of love then. I felt that love was a morbid issue. During the time when me & Eric broke up, I WAS CRAZY. i dare not LEAVE my house. I DARE NOT GO ANYWHERE ALONE. i was terrified of seeing couples, i was scared to be reminded of any memories. thinking back, i was dumb. DUMB.

There are so many fishes in the sea, so many trees in the forest, so many birds in the sky, so many pads in the supermarket, so many earthworms in the soil, so many fur on a hamster, so many hair on a human's head, so many ants when theres a sweet, so many sand in the desert (ok im straying away).

WHY LIMIT YOUR CHOICES?
WHY STAY TO ONE?

When Melanie said "My definition of love then was having 2/3/4/5/6 boyfriends, now my definition of love is.. having you. Just you."
OMG. when i read it, I was dumbfounded.
I am very proud of her for this, but at the same time,
I can't help but feel shes becoming one of the loserish girls.
(no dont worry darling, u are the exception k, u are never loserish, just an example. *biasness runs in us*)

Ok back to topic.
Now I am envious of pple being in love with pple.
I think being able to love someone silently is bliss.
Don't you think?
When me & gheeting used to go gaga over 2 guys from our sch,
namely Elvin & ZX respectively.
as much as we were hurt (and how we claimed we will LOVE them forever)
Crap.
we were happy. Right?
Gheeting, YES ANOT?!
her answer is yes cos we always talk bout it.
We were so retardedly happy even though it was unrequited love.
how dumb but surprisingly sweet.

You know whats sad?
Those days will never come again.

You know whats sad?
I feel I'll never be able to fall in love again.

Falling in love is said to be a beautiful process,
why is it so stained to me? why?!

For now, I love only Sweet Kacang & Stripey.
My babies and my darlings, always.

I just had a major crying session.
:( I practically cried out loud on the phone to Zhiwei please.
So gross and gay.
But its because of Kacang !
I am so sad, crying till theres no more tearssssssssss..
sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

and im crying still.

and im still crying.

and still im crying.

shoutout of the day: CHEEBYE!

I am officially depressed.
My dear Kacang is... going to die. :(
The lump on her eye is getting bigger.
I am so depressed and i am bringing her to a vet tomorrow.
No one is stopping me. no one.
Shes my daughter please.
Don't say things like, "aiya the hammie so small, its also not a dog, why must it require a vet? die den die lor." SERIOUSLY. next time your kids fall sick, or got lumps on her eye, will you bring her go see doctor anot? YES RITE? irregardless of the amount rite. YES, thats why im willing to let kacang undergo an operation(if needed)
I hope she do not require any Operation that would endanger her small little life. Such a tiny cute thing, done nothing bad in her life, just being cute and soft, why must she die? I think god shouldn't let small, cute and soft things like Kacang die, its so unfair. I think they should let pple who do bad things die rite. Please everything in the world, don let Kacang die. I promise to be a nice and good girl, and..
I SWEAR I WILL GIVE UP CLUBBING IF KACANG WERE TO LIVE AS LONG AS I LIVE. OR IF THE THING ON HER EYE GO AWAY! I PROMISE I'LL NOT CLUB! I PROMISE!!!!!! SO PLEASE!!! DON LET MY BABY DIE!!!!!!!

(if she dies, my life ENDS at the very instant too)
im serious.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

No mood to blog suddenly.
Going to Mount Pleasant Animal Clinic tomoro.
i wish i had someone who drives all of a sudden.
sobsob. feeling so emo now.......

Thursday, one of the most dreary day of the week,
school ends soooooo bloody late.
BUT, it was a fun day today, :)
bitching&bitching&laughing&SLEEPING.
and PE was surprisingly fun, hahaha.
enjoyed it totally.

had KFC with the girls, talking bout our Bartley past.
:( seems like just yesterday.
reminiscing the past in KFC is sex.

anyway, my brother just told me Eric called him,
and he sounded kinda sad. hmm, don't be sad.
we can always go clubbing together! yay!

I'm very tired lately,
no strength at all.
each time i board a bus or train, i ZZZ all the way.
im so affected by my sleepiness.
i didnt use to be like that.

zhiwei says "ever since u start to club, i've never heard u mention bout ur hamsters again.."
WHERE GOT?!!
i love KAcang&Stripey okay.
TO THE MAX.
and forever!
please.
I love them and I will die if they do not exist.
*kisskiss my hammies*

OMG, the custom made nails i received from Shugar is fucking nice, costs bout $70-80+ if i were to purchase it myself, cos theres alot of diamonds and glitters, yay to blingblings. AAA. and because im a winner, i'll be getting a goodie bag worth $500 of nail products.
:D
and i'll be invited to their opening ceremony,
(got free food, drinks, nail products)
anyone wanna 'gian peng gian sai' with me?
dajie? rachel? gheeting? mel? syl? purani? anyone?

happyhappyhappy! :)

YES! DXO tomoro!
and DOUBLE O on Sat!
weehee.

I love my mummy.
She brought me to eat Japanese Food for 2 days already!
:)
finally can step into a Jap restaurant and order expensive food.
i had Sashimi and im in heaven now.
weehee.
Facial, eyelash extension, manicure(fake nails), photoshoot.
hmm.
Spice is over at my house now,
the husky.

trying to do Cold War now.
The Agree/Disagree wan.
No one wanna help me.
:(
Looking for alternatives now,
trying to withdraw from school.
yup.
imagine the class list no more Joei Tan. :(
If you all don't start treasuring me now ah,
next time no chance!
(ya joke ah joke)

made a new friend today.
Bertram. boss of Shugarz(some nail shop)
he is damn nice!
gimme alot of free things.
plus a lift to Orchard Road and free treat!
thanks!

byebyeee.

from Sylvia & Dzul?(i think he contributed too)


from Melanie&Gheeting&Gang
yes, the LEGENDARY DA LI BAO.
which supposedly brings good luck to pple...


its content. pencil case, 2 pencils, sharpener, eraser, with stickers to be exact.


its content. the fan, the Yu-Gi-Oh deck, the digimon thing, the DIY thing.

OMG. Rachel wished me happy birthday today and she sent me an MMS after that too, with this picture attached to it. gosh, im so touched can. with "you all will always be in my heart." this neoprint is taken years ago, with 3 of us in it. Me, Dajie & Rachel. love her so much, and me & dajie haven find her yet!! MUST go. this picture totally totally means alot to me. i love you Rachel & Dajie.